hey guys.

one. im NOT single. heheh.

two. i got a new xanga.

three. here it is

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=beautiful_sandpaper_tears

please go to that one for now on --

iloveyoutothebones<3

lar<3

[ happy wednesday <3 ]

GUESS WHAT GUYS!! IM SINGLE!! WOOO!!

christian broke up with me yesterday right before seventh period.

OHH. and people. im banned off the computer at home. so yeah. ill respond to your comment as soon as possible.

love you guys. thanks for still commenting. <333

single. and in love. [but not with my ex] heheheh

[larizzle<3]

Currently Playing Moseley Shoals By Ocean Colour Scene sdhfbjsdhbasjlbhscal <33 see related

[ FRIDAY NIGHT -- OR AMISH MORNING]

yeah. this is a new thinger. my chemical romance man. amazingness. i liked them before they were on TRL. or even really known of at my school. al because of danas older brother ryan. hes gnarly. when it comes to music. but yeah. anyways. blah. i think i have another hicky. i should stop doing that. and letting that happen. really. i think im going to start. but its hard. darmit. anyways. yeah. life still pretty much sucks. im GROUNDED. so i wont be able to respond quickly. soo yeah. anyways.

blah. thanks rick. rae. and cab. for you comments. i remember when i would get like EIGHT or NINE. now i get three is im lucky. erg. depression. haha.

---------------------------------

Walking by your house,
and reeking of the drinks I've had
My life is just a waste, a blinded waste
and I'm wide awake
my eyes have met with yours
depressions gone away
I won't walk away from you
like the prodigal I've been
I'll never run away from you
cuz I've seen the other side
I'm never going back again
back again right now
with my eyes, my eyes wide open
my eyes, my eyes wide open
I walked away from you
and I walked away from you

------------------------------------

something i kinda wrote. ---

she fell from grace
since her tragedy came true
so shes been running
not knowing what to do

you fell away from me
youre always falling away
from the one you want to be
and the ones you love

december was a long year
still running from your pain
facades and walls, they find me
and i never felt the same
im riddled in these board games
but im bored with the game

you fall away from me
youre always falling away
from the one you want to be
and the one you love

you fall away from me
youre always falling away
from the one you want to be
and the one you love

and you fall
you fall
you fall away
away

----------------------

[the lovely, depressed, larizzle<3]

[ THURSDAY NIGHT]

what am i doing. what am i doing. is this a mistake. a good thing. i dont know. i dont flippin know. please help me jesus. your the only one i have to rely on. please. please. im sorry for my sins. and everything against you. im sorry.<3

well. everyone. everyone. im taken. yes. TAKEN. again. but. by the same person. christian. i dont know what will happen. i dont know. i dont flippin know. im just so confused right now. and i cant really speak my mind on this site. since i have people who read it. horribleness. i hate berlin. i do. i hate this school. and the SO CALLED. popular people. i hate them. i could hurt them. badly. badly.

anyways. i gota go to sleep. baddly. im dying off tiredness.

my dad says i need to get off the internet. i have been on for two hours.

ohh. always complaining. erg. anyways. i gota go. hope tomorrow is better then today. anyways. yeah. much love and for you who still read this thanks. no one cares anymore. and IM NOT GETTING A MY SPACE. never.

[larizzle]

| my fears break like waves
foaming into themselves
disappearing into the sea |

please   my   lovely

dont    s a v e   me </3

wow. i havent updated in forever. i know i should. really just for myself. i know no one really reads this anymore. xanga had their FAD. and now my space is the shiizzizzle. but i dont care. okay. i do. but i cant get addicted! even though. again. i want to. but i cant. i cant. i cant. i cant. i cant. I CANT.

okay. important shiizzle. IM SINGLE. yes. i broke up with christian. i dont know if i will ever go back. but i dont know. hes not religiously right. but oh my geez. i want someone for valentines day. what should i do? im so confused. i mean. the reasons i broke up with him are mainly GODISH reasons. i really like him. and he loves me. i feel evil. because im not HOPELESSLY DEVOTED. like him. and thats not really fair. yeah know?

dude. i talked to MRS DIFILIPO today. she is beyond amazing. she told us at the beginning of the year she cares about us. she really does. like really. shes soo sweet. and she gave me hugs. and talked about my situation with her. christian and everything. shes soo understanding. i wish she was my mom. anyways. yeah.

school sucked BIG TIME. it was soo akward. i mean really. like on the bus. i dont sit with christian any more. and we have lockers next to each other. and its soo horrible. i wanna hug him. like really hug him. but i cant. only friendly hugs. oh then i had a conversation with ALEX BROWN after school. i cant really talk about much said. some people from school might still read this. but yeah. its horrible. hes horrible. im horrible.

i though this was sopossed to be getting better GOD? help me please. all i really have is you left. your my last hope. i cant do this on my own. and he cant either. please take care of him. let him think before he does things. please. dont let anything happen to him. please. i would step infront of a bullet for him. no doubt about it. i love him. not romanticlly really. but friendship wise. hes soo amazing. and hes a great boyfriend. with add. hehe. but yes. hes NOT what you want for me GOD, i know. i need someone GODLY. who will guild me in the way of your hollines. please lord. let this year go by fast. i crave highschool. soo baddly. where im taken seriously. where guys are taken seriously. where i can have a real, GODDLY, realationship. please. LORD. fast. i love you. and thank you for everything, GLORIOUS ONE. MY SAVIOUR. thank you. i dont deserve it.

well anyways. BRIGHTEYES WAS IN SPIN. erg. now they are going to get popular. oh no. another GREAT INDIE band going perrrrclunk.

oh and austin and shayne are both offically amazing. they really care. thanks.

okay guys. i have to go. im tired. and i need to cry somemore. dude. i have cried over FIFTEEN TIMES in the last. three days. sad isnt it.

well goodnight. no. horrible night.

lar</3